The Budge Bunch

I was not wearing my wedding and engagement rings for a while. I know, that sounds bad. I know I should wear them all the time. I know I shouldn’t run around town acting all young and available. Oh wait…. I just stopped wearing them because my fingers got too fat and I was scared we’d have to cut them off if I didn’t stop wearing them right away.

Then I lost them.

When I first realized that I had no idea where they were, I figured I had just lost my mind for a bit and it would come to me the next day while I was driving down the street. So, for the next few days I kept having these OH YEAH moments and I’d run to the next place in the house to look. Nothing. After a few weeks I really started to panic. I really felt guilty. It was eating me alive. I knew I had to tell Kevin. Admit I could not find them. I thought HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME. I would never hear the end of this.

But what I really worried about while I was laying in bed at night panic stricken at the thought of never finding them was my past and my future. Not my here and now. Not how mad Kevin will be, but how sad I knew we both would be. I know those rings are just rings. Really, they are just rings. Our marriage is not based on them. We are so much more than that. But it represents our past. Where we were. They hold fun stories and remind me of so many amazing times in my life.

My heart was broken.

I have three daughters. I have three pieces of jewelry that I have wanted them to have when I am gone. My engagement ring, my wedding band and a special necklace that Kevin gave me as a wedding present. I was devastated when I thought that was not going to happen. I knew which daughter would receive which piece of jewelry. I wanted them to have these things that helped make me, me. The things that meant the most. Those pieces represented hope, love, and commitment. Not just for our marriage, but for our family. Our dreams we dreamed for ourselves and for or each one of them. I wanted them to look at these simple pieces of jewelry and feel the joy they brought me. I wanted that feeling to live on forever with them.

Kevin found my rings.

He found them in a small cabinet in my bathroom next to a jar of ring cleaner. After over a month of looking. I was sitting at the computer and he walked over and handed them to me. I screamed. When he walked out of the room, I sat and cried. Sometimes it takes believing you lost something to really make you think about what it meant to you.

I am almost thankful this happened to remind me how lucky we are as a family. With rings or not. We are stronger than that. The rings are just a symbol of a feeling that is there no matter what.

Love.