I haven’t been around much lately. Although I have been around. I have been quiet. I have been looking, reading, listening.
I have been thinking.
I have been full of fluff. I hate fluff. But I have been dishing it out.
It has been a long year. A long year of trying to figure out my place, my niche. What do I have to offer? Where do I belong? Who is real? Who is fake?
Why am I here?
Why do I do this?
I started blogging a year ago. I am a news and politics junkie. I loved to read blogs. I have for years. After my lung collapse, I was stuck in bed for a while. I kept busy by reading my favorite political and entertainment blogs. I had a few go-to favorites. They said something. They were real. They were not fluff. Even if it was nonsense, it was well written nonsense.
I am not a writer.
But in my post op drug induced need to keep busy so I don’t pick up a cigarette state, I decided to start a blog. Then I found Twitter.
I am changed.
This year has changed me. Changed who I am, and who I want to be. Even at times when I feel lost. I know I am surrounded by my other lost friends. We are lost in a good way. We are lost in a way to challenge ourselves to figure out who and what we want to be. We have alot to say.
I stopped reaching out. Stopped writing about my life and my family the way I wanted to write about us. We are real. We have nothing to hide. When I started out, I looked at this blog as a way to document my family life. Kinda like the baby book I never finished making for Caitlin or even started for the other three. Our family is not perfect. I want them to see that. I want them to see that even with all of our imperfections, we are still an amazing family. I want them to be able to look back at this blog years from now, and laugh or cry at what we have been through. I want them to know that no family is perfect. Even the family they may have some day. I want them to know that your family is perfect because it is yours. But every family goes through rough and horrible things. But don’t be afraid to talk about it. I know I am not a bad parent when I am going through something tough with my kids. Even though I may feel like it and need to have a tantrum about it sometimes.
I am not worrying anymore. I have changed. I have stepped back and took a good look around and I know what I don’t want. I know who I am. I know who is real and I love them. I thank them. They get me.
That is why I do this.
It is not all fluff all the time. No matter what anyone tries to make you believe.
19 Comments, Comment or Ping
What you do matters. Life is a journey of exploration, change, and I’m not sure we every actually land in one permanent spot. I love you ((HUGS))
February 23rd, 2010
Cheryl..you are REAL! and you know fluff is good too. We need fluff in our lives. It’s what makes our lives fun and different and not boring. I sometimes think fluff is the best part of life. It’s the not so serious part.
And you and your blog are more than fluff. I LOVE reading your blog because of the very reason you mention. It is REAL. I can relate because my life is filled with so many imperfections. All of our lives are.
so please giving me REAL and FLUFF! I need it!!
February 23rd, 2010
I second Michele and Fiona! You rock fluff or not
February 23rd, 2010
Thanks Michele! What I hate is that I was using my “fluff” as a wall. You know I will still be a complete dork! I ain’t that deep! LOL
February 23rd, 2010
LMAO! You were scaring me. I was afraid you were gonna start dissecting the meaning of life now.
February 23rd, 2010
I am a fairly new reader of your blog and really enjoy it! It feels very real to me and not fluff at all.
February 23rd, 2010
Hey, I dig “Fluff” and stuff.
I say ROCK ON, girl.
ROCK ON!
February 23rd, 2010
I love the non fluff stuff. The REAL part of you. That’s probably why I love you so much. There are TONS of people who write about fluff…I’m bored with that.
February 23rd, 2010
GREAT post! We all write fluff from time to time – but you are a very real, awesome writer. You’re thoughful, at times thought provoking, and always honest. That is the stuff of good blogs, gal!
February 23rd, 2010
Fluff or not you’re doing something that makes you feel good and that’s all that matters.
February 24th, 2010
you are you…. and i love you for being you.
i have been asking myself all the same questions….still trying to find all the answers though.
i have a post sitting as a draft that is almost too real… afraid to press “post”. so i guess that makes me guilty of the “fluff”.
xoxo
February 24th, 2010
I find you refreshing, and def. real!
February 24th, 2010
I’m with Jen H. REAL.IS. GOOD.
February 24th, 2010
I love this post because it’s SO REAL. I am so glad you stopped by my blog again so that we can re-connect! Always enjoy your tweets but I really look forward to blogging with you.
I think the beauty of blogging is defining yourself along the way, as I see this always as an evolving process. As long as you write what you are passionate about, I don’t think you can go wrong.
So glad to be here – and following. Again.
February 26th, 2010
Thank you for this uplifting blog.
Whatever life brings our way; God’s grace is sufficient for us.
I wish you more grace to do the good work.
I am following you from the Follow me Club – Mommy Bloggers.
February 27th, 2010
I went through this a while back too…I totally understand what you meant (and hope you had a happy birthday!!)
February 27th, 2010
You’re a great writer. And no, this blog is not fluff. I love coming here and reading about your family. I think about Chelsea and wonder if everything is OK with her. I dont want to invade your privacy so I never ask, I just read your post and leave a comment here or there. So just know that there are people in the blogosphere that have never met you but really care about you. Isn’t that the great thing about social media? I can’t wait to meet you in real life. BTW I hate when I wake up on Saturday mornings and realize that I missed your show on Friday night.
February 27th, 2010
You know we all go through this. I found I am a blogging gypsy. I don’t fit in anywhere and I go from fluff to EFF this easily because that’s who I am. Never apologize or dissect yourself, go from the heart. I love it and so does everyone else!
February 28th, 2010
I think your questions are relevant and we all ask the same things at some time…
BTW- I followed you from your follower mishap! I wish I could have figured it out, and I hope you get everyone back!
February 28th, 2010
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